The+Onion-style+news+story

After an unusually high number of incidents involving killer animals, Steven King was cornered in his home Monday afternoon, the suspect of a full-on investigation led by the FBI. “What are you writing on that computer?” the new guy, Bob Blunt, asked him in an overly macho, obviously terrified manner. “Looks like something about some murdering animals or something,” he cleverly added. Mr. King declined to comment, stating only that his dogs would be back soon to “take care of things.” While unsure what that meant, the FBI team wisely decided to back track, and has been safely holed up in the local police department ever since, most of them wielding rolled-up newspapers, butterfly nets, and mousetraps. In a related story, Steven King’s new thriller “The Crazy Animals in my Basement that I Sometimes Let Free” comes out tomorrow.

M=news story (fake, humorous, in the style of "The Onion") A=general readers P=to make people laugh S=I noticed that a large majority of students in my 4th hour chose "Killer (insert animal here)" stories to write about, and in a quick spark of insight, the topic came to me, so I wrote this over the lunch hour.